I recently turned 21 last month. It was a long-awaited birthday for me, more so because I have friends who have been of age for several years at this point. For me, it was finally being able to have full access to Kansas City nightlife. I've never been concerned with drinking - I could always get alcohol from friends, but I rarely drink the way it is. Turn 21 meant I could now go out dancing in the mediocre clubs the metro has to offer and get a beer with a friend who is in town visiting who isn't one for coffee.
Naturally, the day was filled with text messages, phone calls, Facebook posts, and face-to-face wishes. A common theme seemed to peek its head out every once in a while.
"Are you going to get drunk tonight?"
"What's your first drink going to be?"
"What kind of shots are you going to do?"
"Who's going to be your designated driver?"
It was beginning to seem like everyone began expecting me to ensure for myself that I would not remember this birthday. For some reason, it was expected that after 20 years of minimal to no drinking, I was suddenly going to binge and spend my birthday as a drunken mess. Now, not everyone I spoke with suggested this, but it was something that consistently came up. As I began protesting these expectations, the responses to my protests also shared a common thought.
"You have to. It's practically the rules of turning 21."
"You're supposed to take shots on your 21st birthday."
"You should at least get a little drunk."
"Just have fun. It's your birthday. You're supposed to."
All of a sudden, there were these so-called "rules" of a 21st birthday that were being imposed upon me. Apparently I would not be celebrating my birthday "right" if I didn't almost end up over the toilet at the end of the night with my best friend holding my hair back.
Why was it that more people were telling me what to do rather than asking me what I was going to do? Why is there this inherent assumption that everyone gets drunk on their 21st? No matter what reasoning I used, I still was wrong. I say shots are a waste of money, I'm still told I have to take at least one. I say I want to remember my birthday, I'm told I only turn 21 once.
I understand that there are cultures that have certain social rules for different parts of life. However, these rules are not, by any means, set in stone. They are only upheld because it is continuously drilled into people's minds that this is how it's done.
You're supposed to freak out on your wedding day.
You're supposed to be nervous about that exam.
You're supposed to incessantly drink in college.
You're supposed to go to prom.
I think we all could be happier if we would stop forcing these pointless rules on each other and trying to convince our peers they won't be happy if they do it this way. I decided for myself what my birthday was going to be. I did take a shot - only because my mother encouraged me to (apparently I can't resist peer pressure from my mom). However, I enjoyed what I wanted, when I wanted to. I made my birthday what I wanted it to be, not what everyone thought it was supposed to be. And it was one of the best birthdays I have. It is said that rules are made to be broken, and I think social rules are made specifically for that reason.
Be happy, and be a rule-breaker.
