I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know why I feel this way about you. But the truth of the situation is that I'm in love with you. When we were in D.C., I promised myself I wouldn't get any silly crush on any of the guys from your team. Well, I kept that promise to myself - it just didn't hold true for after the trip. I wish I would have talked to you so much more during that trip, but I'm so thankful that we started texting each other the last day we were both in D.C.
You're the kind of guy I hoped to meet, but never expected to.
You helped me realize what I'm looking for in a guy. You set the bar for all guys I meet (and it's a very high bar).
You're willing to go to the ends of the earth for your friends.
You are confident in who you are and that rubs off on me, especially since you never fail to encourage me to stick to what I believe.
I've never heard you criticize anything about myself (of course, excluding the number of movies I haven't seen).
You always respect girls and never objectify them, and you make me feel like I am more than what my body looks like.
You're a constant reminder of why I love being myself, and not many other people give me that reminder.
I can talk to you any time about anything. Even when I call you late at night to vent to you about my intolerance of some people, you patiently listen and always reassure me that everything's okay.
You always remember to enjoy the small things in life, and you never forget to laugh, even if it's at yourself.
You have big dreams for yourself, and you aren't afraid to chase them - in fact, you're going after them each day.
You always at least text me on a holiday just to say "hi."
You push me to try new things, whether it's a new movie or new music.
You always encourage me to go for what I want.
I don't think it's normal for me to meet someone on a trip and continually talk to them - usually we only keep in touch for a couple of weeks, and then we never talk again. But even though we live in completely separate parts of the country, you're still an active part of my life. When I look at our Facebook chat, it has over 3000 previous messages to load. Who knows how much we've texted, Skyped, or talked to each other on the phone, either. But out of all of the things that I've told you or talked to you about, this is the one thing that I'm afraid to tell you.
Everyone I've talked to has told me to tell you how I feel, but I don't think the time is right. You're getting ready for college; I know how stressful that is. I don't want to distract you from all of that - it's a big decision to make, and I want you to enjoy your senior year as much as you can anyway. It's not that I'd think it would be a burden to tell you, but there's nothing either of us can do about it at this point. It would be like putting a blank canvas in front of an artist, but not giving them any paint to put on it. Aside from all of that, though, I'm afraid you won't feel the same way. I thought you did in D.C. at one point. Whether or not I was right about that, I have no idea. At this point, all I can do is hope that you feel the same way. I know the only way I can find out is if I tell you. But what will we do if we both feel the same way?
I've heard numerous times that people can make long distance relationships work, and if it's meant to be, then the people will find a way to make it work out. I feel - or at least hope - that that could be us. We could beat the odds set against us. Despite the distance and the different paths we're taking in our lives, I think we could make it. I'd be willing to wait for you. There are so many other guys that I'd like to wait for, but I know it'd be fruitless in the end. You, however, are different. You're one of the best guys I have met, and one of the dearest friends I've ever had. You are also one of the few people who have ever told me they care about my happiness. The moment I received that text from you with those words was when I knew I was sold on you.
The bottom line, though, is that even if this doesn't work out, I know we'll be friends for a very long time. I know I can always count on you to have my back, and I pray that I have shown you the same loyalty that you've shown me. So even if you end up not being the "one" for me, I know that I'll be able to still call you my best friend. Thank you for loving me who I am, for being there for me when I've needed you, and trusting me enough to confide in me every once in a while. You're helping me become a better version of myself, and I don't think I'll ever be able to fully thank you for that.
For now, thank you.
Michelle
